This Can Only Happen by the Coast...

My neighbor was pulled over the other day for a misdemeanor DWB: Driving While Beautiful.

Last month, after tons of car accidents, the city installed several "no left turn" signs at key intersections off the main highway here in town. Fair enough. Very often, locals used ditch onto these side streets to bypass the main highway. Anyway, the signs are very visible.

My neighbor, Y, made an illegal left turn there just last week. The cop followed her to her apartment and let her off with just a verbal warning. She took it well and the cop was on his way. I want to add that my neighbor is a stunning 6 ft tall blonde fitness model. Men are reduced to wibbling 13-year-olds in her presence. She is quite beautiful.

An illegal left turn is a moving violation, usually remedied by fines and traffic school.

On the other hand, I got pulled over and cited for...a tail light that had gone out. I am not blonde, nor am I a 6 ft. tall fitness model. I got a $25.00 fix-it ticket, with a $10.00 "processing fee" attached. Driving While Plain, I suppose.

My neighbor? Cited for Driving While Beautiful.

Only at the coast.

Seriously?

OK. What you are looking at is not a casting call for Hollister, A&F, Limited Too or Roxy Girl models. It's a pic of some local graduating 5th-graders.



I don't know about you, but 5th grade for me was unruly hair, orthodontia, and glasses if I needed to see the board for any reason. Life is much easier when you're pretty(or so I've been told), but I didn't know that kids around here bypassed the Awkward Years. Girls go from being little cutie pies to being graceful young women without bothering to stop at Acne, Braces, and Glasses and collecting $200.00. It's the trippiest thing.

I moved here in 1996 from a middle-class urban city about 15 miles from here. I lived in a tattered blue-collar neighborhood. The whole area was grey...the streets, buildings, and even some of the people. Most of the kids around there were pale, lethargic, and/or obese. Teen-agers had acne, either had orthodontia or needed it badly, and there was a jarring number of pregnant teen girls. Sure, there were organized sports, but mostly soccer and baseball. The beach was a world away, and a huge undertaking in terms of travel.

The first thing I noticed when I moved here was the kids: Lean, tan, overwhelmingly blonde, mostly "pretty", active and vigorous. The beach was their playground, and many of them had surfed/skimboarded/body-surfed from the time they were toddlers.

What really killed me was how Pretty they were. Kids were everywhere: in the store, out in the neighborhood, at the beach, at the park...everywhere. Each and every one of them was Pretty. My neighbor at the time, Kathleen, had wondered if Our Town was a breeding ground for Pretty.
I have to wonder sometimes...

Welcome

The title says it all. I live in a town where kids just don't read about Europe, they travel there with their families on school breaks. Instead of President's Day, there is Ski Week, a nod to all the families that take off to ski Mammoth, Tahoe, Snowmass, and other upscale areas. Middle school French students travel to Paris to study, well, French. Our town paper features a pictorial each week of families who have traveled to exotic places holding up a copy of said paper for all to see. High school theater productions have all the gloss and smooth professionalism of a Broadway show; there are no missed dance steps or fluffed lines. In fact, I don't think they're allowed.

People tool around town in either Gem cars or tricked-out Golf carts. We have more Prius(Prii?) per capita than Santa Monica. There is a disturbing amount of blue-eyed, blonde children here. It is a place of mind-blowing beauty, wealth and privilege.

I'll be sharing bits and pieces about life in this town. I've lived here since 1996, and have seen so many changes. Working-class people in this town are becoming more and more rare, and I'm one of them. As much as I love it here, and as safe as I feel here, the changes have been disorienting.
I'll be talking about life on a small paycheck in a town of million-dollar homes. Welcome!